As Canada observes the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation on September 30, a day dedicated to acknowledging the legacy of residential schools and the ongoing journey toward healing, we invite Canadians to engage with I Lost My Talk, the heartfelt poem of Mi’kmaw elder Rita Joe.
In 2017, Canada’s National Arts Centre Orchestra released Life Reflected, an album that shines a spotlight on powerful stories of Canadian women. One of its most profound pieces, I Lost My Talk, is inspired by Mi’kmaw elder and poet Rita Joe, whose writing reflects both her personal trauma and a call for collective healing.
Rita Joe’s poem, I Lost My Talk, conveys the emotional weight of her time at the Shubenacadie Residential School in Nova Scotia. It echoes the pain of cultural erasure but also holds out a hand of reconciliation, a plea for understanding, and hope for the future.
“She used to say writing was her therapy. She had a lot of painful memories and she had to get them out,” says Ann Joe, Rita’s daughter. “She became a writer because she wasn’t allowed to write. The more they tried to break her will, the more she went her own way.” Through her words, she sought to inspire Indigenous and non-Indigenous people to find strength in the face of adversity, and to foster healing in communities across Canada.
“She became a writer because she wasn’t allowed to write.”
In a powerful collaboration, the NAC Orchestra commissioned award-winning composer John Estacio to compose a musical interpretation of the poem. The result is a rich and emotional score, performed in concert alongside a poignant film by acclaimed director Barbara Willis Sweete. Premiering in 2016, I Lost My Talk was performed across Canada and Europe, touching audiences with its message of resilience.
▶ Listen to I Lost My Talk
Estacio describes his composition as being divided into four continuous movements, mirroring the four stanzas of Joe’s poem. “Rita Joe’s poem captures the disorienting fear of being forced to leave one’s culture,” Estacio explains. The opening flute solo evokes a peaceful world before the trauma of residential schools, but this serenity is soon disrupted by a sudden shift in the music. The hymn-like strings grow harsh, and the flute melody is lost in a dissonant landscape, echoing the cultural displacement Joe experienced.
The second movement deepens this tension. As melodies attempt to regain form, they are persistently interrupted by pounding percussion and brass, capturing the suffocating environment of the residential school experience. The third movement bursts forth with aggression as the solo flute returns, caught in frantic momentum, with a percussion solo underscoring the turmoil. In a powerful statement, Estacio overlaps two hymn-like melodies in different keys, reflecting the poem’s lines, “two ways I talk”—a duality of identity, language, and culture.
In the final movement, a soaring anthem emerges, symbolizing reconciliation. The narrator, like Joe in her poem, extends a hand toward peace and understanding, embracing her role as an ambassador between two worlds. The words, “I offer my hand,” inspire a musical resolution as Estacio’s score reaches a moment of hope, marking a journey from cultural loss to healing.
A poem of hope and reconciliation
Rita Joe’s poem resonates deeply today as conversations around Truth and Reconciliation continue. Her words offer a roadmap to understanding the personal and collective trauma experienced by Indigenous peoples in Canada, while calling for healing and unity:
I lost my talk
The talk you took away.
When I was a little girl
At Shubenacadie school.
You snatched it away:
I speak like you
I think like you
I create like you
The scrambled ballad, about my word.
Two ways I talk
Both ways I say,
Your way is more powerful.
So gently I offer my hand and ask,
Let me find my talk
So I can teach you about me.
